What am I going to tell my Daughter about love now that I have “failed” at it?
Sometimes I think back at the last year and just wish that I had that one piece of advice from my mom that would answer all my questions. It still hasn’t come. And, I’m not sure it ever will. And, it’s ok. But, I need to ask myself what I’m going to tell my daughter about love and relationships, marriage, self-love, growing-up and being your own lunch date.
I want her to know that her true love should be herself. That she should love and accept herself above all else. She shouldn’t expect anybody or “someone” to fill those gaps or those empty spaces. She should want to be her own lunch date every day. She should grow mentally, spiritually and emotionally every day on her own. She doesn’t need anyone’s approval or to approve of her. She should know that love is great but only when you know that it should be mutual, supportive and freeing.
She doesn’t need a knight in shining armor to come and save her, she should have already saved herself. She should be brave and strong and know that sometimes love isn’t immediate or automatic. She should be patient but know when to move on and move forward. Love, as much as you’d like it to be, isn’t easy, it’s a complicated feeling and not everybody will be able to see her true value and worth. I don’t want her to look for love or think that she has to wait for it I want her to go about her life and know that love will find her. When the time is right….
I want her to be independent and her own person. Much like she is now. I want her to be herself. Never having to worry about or having to apologize for who she is. Always embracing her unique features and ways, her beauty and her intelligence. Always being herself no matter how “extra” and out there she is, she is who she is, and no one can change her.
I want her to know that love can change and evolve. I want her to know that I didn’t really fail at love because I have known love in so many forms and most importantly because I have her and her brother who both came from a place of love and I know what love can be. I haven’t failed at love because I have been loved and have loved. I haven’t failed at love because I have learned to love myself more and more these days.
I don’t ever want her to apologize for knowing what she wants and being strong-willed. I want her to know that she can have what she wants, not only because she’s stubborn but persistent. My daughter is already becoming this strong independent girl, I want to fuel all of these feelings constantly.
I want her to know that “failing” at love is also acceptable. No one is perfect. It’s not required and life goes on.
I am going to tell my Daughter that love is within her and that even when you don’t have anyone to love, life goes on because loving ourselves is always the best option. I want to tell her that love is amazing and she should strive to be the most loving even in the absence of love from the outside world.
I want to tell her that she is love and that I love her…. that’s what I will tell her about love…
She is writing her own love story and that’s all that matters.